Here is MY ENTIRE Personal Statement!

In this post I will be breaking down the different parts of my PS and why I included each! (Some names were changed)

“The city of San Juan, Puerto Rico was alive. Sounds of conversation rang through the streets and music filled the air, but when my eyes landed on a figure across the square, the street cars, vendors, and even the birds fell silent. The silence was broken by the quiet percussion of a cane as the man I watched moved, alternating his weight from his strong left leg to the wooden support that acted in place for his right. I observed the green and black tissue that spread up his foot to nearly half of his calf. It looked like Gangrene. I had never seen anything like it before. My heart ached for him and I wanted to help. At that moment I wished I could travel back in time to help him before the infection had the chance to spread. I wished that I had the knowledge to assist him.

My experience in Puerto Rico drew me back to Central America a few short years later on an undergraduate medical trip to the Dominican Republic. I wanted to do what I hadn’t been able to do in Puerto Rico. I wanted to provide communities with health literacy and aid in the prevention of chronic diseases such as the one that the man in San Juan had suffered from. “Raul” was a 48-year-old male who came in for a check-up. I knelt beside him ready to take his blood pressure. It read 210/120. Calmly, I excused myself and walked over to find the doctor on staff, Dr. Carlos. He told me that “Raul” needed medication immediately to lower his blood pressure and avoid a serious complication. I sat patiently with the man to pass the time and conversed with him about his family and job. When his pressure returned to normal, Dr. Carlos returned and I curiously watched as he pulled out a piece of prescription paper. He drew out a healthy plate, divided it into three sections, and explained the proportions of food that would help “Raul” lower his blood pressure as well as the lifestyle changes he could make to take control of his health. I witnessed the impact that a short 3-minute consultation could offer for individuals like “Raul.” With the help of a translator, I took an extra minute to provide the same message to every patient that struggled with similar issues as “Raul.” I admired what Dr. Carlos did and wanted to provide a lasting effect on the people that walked into our clinic. My time in the Dominican Republic was short, but I hoped to have offered information that would last a lifetime.”

Observing people battle chronic diseases motivated me to learn more about ways we could try to prevent and manage them. After my trip to the Dominican Republic, I joined Dr. Mary Steinhardt’s lab, TX STRIDE. My favorite days were testing days in which I interacted directly with participants. I observed positive changes in their biomarkers and had conversations with them about the goals they intend to implement to improve their health. With each additional interaction, I found myself increasingly eager to increase my medical knowledge to be able to further assist them in their battle with chronic disease. Following these students closely through their journey deepened my understanding of the multifaceted complexities of healthcare. I gained insight into educational intervention and how social, emotional, and cultural aspects affect health. Each individual had a unique story and background that impacted or influenced them.

Entering college I was excited to learn more about the human body and healthcare. However, I did not expect to become so passionate about each patient I encountered. Talking to my patients and learning about their backgrounds and what makes them who they are has been one of my favorite parts of my healthcare experience so far.

I cannot wait to continue on my journey and gain the skill and knowledge to be able to serve the people around me like the man in San Juan, Puerto Rico, “Raul” from the Dominican Republic, participants in my research study, and every patient that I have encountered since.”

The Break Down:

Next, I will break down every part of my PS and explain why I included each.

“The city of San Juan, Puerto Rico was alive. Sounds of conversation rang through the streets and music filled the air, but when my eyes landed on a figure across the square, the street cars, vendors, and even the birds fell silent. The silence was broken by the quiet percussion of a cane as the man I watched moved, alternating his weight from his strong left leg to the wooden support that acted in place for his right. I observed the green and black tissue that spread up his foot to nearly half of his calf. It looked like Gangrene.”

For the intro of my Personal Statement, I wanted to include a hook that caught the reader’s attention. Admissions committees are reading over thousands of Personal Statements each cycle and I tried to include some imagery that would be different and stand out from the rest. I wanted to catch their attention and put them into my shoes. I wanted to show the rush of the busy city, and how narrowed my attention became when I encountered the Puerto Rican man.

“…Gangrene. I had never seen anything like it before. My heart ached for him and I wanted to help. At that moment I wished I could travel back in time to help him before the infection had the chance to spread. I wished that I had the knowledge to assist him.”

Here is where my call to action comes into play. This moment in time “planted the seed” for my desire to pursue medicine.

“My experience in Puerto Rico drew me back to Central America a few short years later on an undergraduate medical trip to the Dominican Republic. I wanted to do what I hadn’t been able to do in Puerto Rico. I wanted to provide communities with health literacy and aid in the prevention of chronic diseases such as the one that the man in San Juan had suffered from.”

This is where I decided to become engaged in my pursuit to medicine. The seed of wanting to educate and help with the management of chronic disease was planted and now I have gone out into the world to try to chase it.

“Raul” was a 48-year-old male who came in for a check-up. I knelt beside him ready to take his blood pressure. It read 210/120. Calmly, I excused myself and walked over to find the doctor on staff, Dr. Carlos. He told me that “Raul” needed medication immediately to lower his blood pressure and avoid a serious complication. I sat patiently with the man to pass the time and conversed with him about his family and job. When his pressure returned to normal, Dr. Carlos returned and I curiously watched as he pulled out a piece of prescription paper. He drew out a healthy plate, divided it into three sections, and explained the proportions of food that would help “Raul” lower his blood pressure as well as the lifestyle changes he could make to take control of his health. I witnessed the impact that a short 3-minute consultation could offer for individuals like “Raul.” With the help of a translator, I took an extra minute to provide the same message to every patient that struggled with similar issues as “Raul.” I admired what Dr. Carlos did and wanted to provide a lasting effect on the people that walked into our clinic. My time in the Dominican Republic was short, but I hoped to have offered information that would last a lifetime.”

There are a few reasons why I chose this as my second story. Firstly, I wanted to highlight my passion for care that was preventative. I am observing a doctor use education to help a patient manage his chronic condition and prevent disease. The organization that I traveled to the Dominican Republic with was a large part of my extracurricular and leadership during undergrad and I wanted to show the focus on prevention and not medical tourism that sometimes gets a bad rap. Secondly, I wanted to highlight some of my skills that I carry as an applicant without explicitly saying them. Instead of saying “I am a good listener or I am good in times of stress” I was able to talk about the actions that I took to “calmly” grab a doctor and make small talk with the patient to ease his concern. The trip only lasted about a week so the last line was included to emphasize the importance of education that can continue to help patients even after the students leave and the medication that we bring on these trips eventually runs out.

“Observing people battle chronic diseases motivated me to learn more about ways we could try to prevent and manage them. After my trip to the Dominican Republic, I joined (X Professors) lab, NAME OF LAB.”

So now as I have discovered more about my passion for prevention, I go on to show my continual involvement in a research study that I pursue to gain a deeper understanding of these issues.

“It was an interventional research study that looked to see the effect of resilience in education when managing diabetes. I had the opportunity to follow and assist a cohort of students from the start of their program to the end of their education. I discovered that eating well and exercising are not simple. Many participants were motivated to make changes but experienced a loss in the family, became injured, or could not find foods and exercises that they enjoyed. I loved offering recipe alternatives for favorites such as protein pancakes or healthy morning quiches, giving suggestions on how to get a few additional minutes of exercise in, and supporting participants through the ups and downs.”

I began to learn more about factors outside of medicine that influence health and actively participate in finding ways to help individuals overcome these barriers.

“My favorite days were testing days in which I interacted directly with participants. I observed positive changes in their biomarkers and had conversations with them about the goals they intend to implement to improve their health. With each additional interaction, I found myself increasingly eager to increase my medical knowledge to be able to further assist them in their battle with chronic disease. Following these students closely through their journey deepened my understanding of the multifaceted complexities of healthcare. I gained insight into educational intervention and how social, emotional, and cultural aspects affect health. Each individual had a unique story and background that impacted or influenced them.”

The end of this paragraph explains more about why I want to become a doctor without explicitly saying it. I love my job and what I do but I desire to learn about disease more in-depth to be able to further assist my patients. I also highlight how my experiences gave me insight on a big theme in medicine, which is how complex it can be. There is so much more that goes into health than what happens between the doors of a primary care office in a 15-minute appointment once a year. Patient are unique and all have their own struggles and barriers to health.

“Entering college I was excited to learn more about the human body and healthcare. However, I did not expect to become so passionate about each patient I encountered. Talking to my patients and learning about their backgrounds and what makes them who they are has been one of my favorite parts of my healthcare experience so far.”

I liked the beginning of this paragraph because it kind of hints at a common theme that a lot of premeds feel, which is “I want to be a doctor because I like science and want to help people.” These things were both true for me and I tried to show that through my undergrad experiences, I became passionate about the people on the other side of science and school.

“I cannot wait to continue on my journey and gain the skill and knowledge to be able to serve the people around me like the man in San Juan, Puerto Rico, “Raul” from the Dominican Republic, participants in my research study, and every patient that I have encountered since.”

In the last sentence, the three stories that I discussed are tied together. I emphasize that each story was a large contributor to my desire to pursue medicine and how I plan to implement this passion as a doctor to serve others similar to the patients who have touched my heart.

I hope that breakdown helped!

Additionally, I found an awesome Doctor on YouTube @doctorShaene who talks about 8 pillars to include in your personal statement. I included the pillars below and I think that it helped my application stand out!

Motivation – What made you want to pursue medicine?

Engagement – What have you done to discover more about this passion? Reading more books, getting clinical experience, volunteering etc.

Suitability – Selling yourself and the good qualities that you have that make you a good candidate. Doctor Ryan Grey talks about how you should “show not tell” these skills – meaning you should NOT say “ I am a good listener” but rather SHOW a story that you are through a story.

Reflection – Think about the lessons that the past experiences have taught you and how they will influence the future actions you will take.

Projection – I included that at the end of the last paragraph when I talked about using the things I learned to serve my community members as a doctor.

Thank you for reading! I hope you take away bits and pieces and ideas that you can include in your statement. Again, each personal statement will be a little bit different and that is GREAT because we all have different stories to tell about our path to medicine!

♡ Z

If you are looking for more resources on your personal statement, check out the PreMed Playbook by Ryan Grey. https://amzn.to/47e0MiY

This book broke down the dos and don’ts of a personal statement, how to start it off, and what to include to make it your own. It gives many examples of rough draft personal statements and the improvements that students, can and did make to improve their stories.

I also watched mannny hours of his YouTube channel, Application Renovation, to see what other students’ stories looked like. Take these videos with a grain of salt. Dr. Grey can be a little harsh at times and has kind of gotten in his own way about what a personal statement should look like. Just remember again, that everyone has their own path. Create a story that YOU feel good about!